Where's the Special in Special Teams?

Week 1

So it's time for footballl... what to wear, what to wear... Yes, I'm a girl - but 'dressing' for this season will be hard. You see every Patriots player's jersey I own has left the team. And not the alleged serial killer's jersey either, at least I could have traded that one in for another player's. I propose a trade in program for any player that goes to another team, leaves you miles high and dry - especially those who committ treason and go running to an evil master who is balding... (I'm really bitter about a certain short player going to said evil master quarterback who is balding. I'm not going to name names, I'm just going to talk to him like a crazed ex girlfriend addressing him after we've been broken up for 10+ years... Ahem, I even had a purse made with your jersey, what am I supposed to do with that now, huh?! ......... Yeah, I know I couldn't have brought it to games this year because of new stadium rules, huh......... you know what? Shut up!)

Where's the special in special teams?

Anywho. I'd like to tell you about my favorite moment when watching and/or attending games. I've been very fortunate to get tickets to games often. The seats are never primo, I'm up there in the nosebleeds with the everyman - but you know what's magical from up there? Kickoff returns where he BREAKS the tackle... benefits from a great BLOCK, finds the HOLE and goes ALL THE WAY BACK FOR THE TOUCHDOWN! When you're that high up, you see the hole open before special teams even does. You can see the future. The whole stadium's on it's feet... It's electric (boogy woogy woogy.) But lately kickoffs are BORING!
I'm all about safety, and I realize they changed the rules so the kicker is kicking for th 35 and that's resulted in a lot less injuries for returners, but I maintain, it's boring for me! And it's all about me, the fan, isn't it?

 

I'm a really lucky, recently engaged gal... I'm supposed to oou and ah when a guy gets down on a knee. Now, I yawn and say let's get this inevitable commercial break over with.                               

Let me get all statisticIE on ya... usually I don't like numbers and I thought looking this stat up on ESPN was going to be daunting, but it wasn't, you know why? Because I have enough appendages to count returns for touchdowns on. That's right, last year, there were only 13 kickoffs returned for a touchdown. 13! (fingers an toes) That's it! I only had 13 chances to watch my favorite event happen. (And the Patriots had none, which means my only opportunity to see one was if the other team made one, and then it's not fun anymore. I don't want to see that.) 

OK, ok, last year there were 18 punt returns for touchdowns. Which are basically just as exciting dunno why we have to get all technical and call something that's basically the same thing two different names, but whatever. So add them up 31. I don't have enough appendages for that so it's kinda hairy, but the Patriots still didn't get one. Actually if you look at the spread the most any one team got was 2 and that leaves the 'have's' (10 teams got a kickoff return for a touchdown) and 'have nots' (22 teams did not get a kickoff return for a touchdown) with a big disparity! I grew up getting dance medals at competitions that were Gold, Platinum and Diamond! 

Let's spread the weath shall we? That adds another element of strategy to a game based on guys in helmets, pads and really nice tight pants running into each other. You never know what's going to happen if you try to keep your eye on the ball then deal with that man running full force at you. Sure, you'll proably get injured - but that's part of strategy too. Or you could make a whole host of mistakes and get a penalty. Even 5 yards could haunt you all week as the reason you lost the game. Or you could committ a moral sin and fumble it and my team could get the ball back with really good field position, what's wrong with that? Football is the only sport I'll watch religiously because it doesn't have to be your turn on offense to make a play or even score! In baseball an outfielder can't catch a fly then run over homeplate and score - he has to wait his turn. 

 

Can't we find another idea to make returning kickoffs fun and safe and exciting? Please let me know, I'd like to learn more about football as I write about it.

Have a good time watching tape and benching fantasy players!

Stacey